Having more than one baby is exhausting but sleep training isn't the answer

Having more than one baby is exhausting! And even more so if you, or you and a partner, find yourself with limited support from other loving adults.

Often families who have given birth to multiples get the impression that the best way to manage their babies’ sleep challenges is to use sleep training. However, there is no research to suggest this is actually the case.

If having a baby is about workability rather than perfection, that’s even more the case with having multiple babies of the same age! You'll experiment to see what works in your own unique and especially demanding situation.

You will need more support than this single article if you have multiples. Please consider reaching out to your local organisations for multiples.

Ideas for managing multiples at night

Here are some ideas.

• Feed your other or all babies after one baby wakes in the night.

• Bring in night help if you can possibly afford it or if you have a family member who is happy to help. Even one night a week of help would be of great value. Accept as much help as you can!

• Split the night into shifts between yourself and your partner or another loving adult. Be sure when you’re ‘off-duty’ to put close the door, put in ear plugs, and focus on self-care, so that you are ready for when you are back ‘on duty’.

• Switch on self-compassion as you switch out the lights for the night.

• Have your babies start the day together, at the same time each day.

• Use the strategies in The Possums Sleep Program to keep your babies body clocks well aligned with night and day, and with each others’

• Improvise, accept compromise, experiment.

• Know that your babies might cry more than if they were singletons but that they will be alright - because you are doing your sensible best to meet everyone’s needs, including your own, and that’s what matters.

Is it safe to sleep twins together in a cot?

Putting your twin babies in a cot together is something that you might like to experiment with. You could experiment with the way you put them in the cot, but most parents put them with their heads at the same height (always on their backs in an place that you've made as safe as possible), next to each other.

An review of 18 research studies which looked at cobedding of twins in infancy found potential benefits to this practice and no evidence of harm.

Recommended resources

https://www.basisonline.org.uk/twin-co-bedding/

Your local support groups for families with multiples

Selected research

Mann P, Schmied V, Psaila K, Foster J. Integrative review of cobedding of infant twins. Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic and Neonatal Nursing. 2023;52:128-138.