The biological re-wiring of your brain after you've had a baby can act as a loudspeaker, amplifying the human brain's already existing tendency towards repetitive unhelpful or negative thinking. Unhelpful thoughts often then trigger waves of distressed emotions.

In the perinatal period, your thoughts might become so unhelpful or negative that you experience them as intrusive, and you might even have thoughts which you find utterly shocking. If this is your experience, it's important to know that

• It seems all women experience intrusive thoughts of their baby being harmed at some stage (most often in the first weeks after the birth), and that half of us have very disturbing thoughts about harming our baby. This is a common thing that happens in our brains in the postpartum period.

• It's normal to worry that you must be a very bad mother because you have these thoughts. This not true.

• It's normal to worry terribly that you must be at risk of acting out these thoughts. This is not true.

• The disturbing thoughts pass in time, as the postpartum period with its chronic stress, hardwired hypervigilance, and complex neurohormonal changes passes.

• It's best not to try to get rid of the thoughts, but to anchor yourself in the present moment, over and over, practicing a great and tender compassion towards yourself. How difficult it all is! What a relief it is to know that this too, even these shocking, horrible thoughts, will pass!

The information and suggestions on this page, in the Caring for you articles, and in The Possums Sleep Program overall are not a substitute for health professional support. If you have concerns about your mental health and wellbeing, it's very important to see your GP. If you have a history of mental health challenges, it's important to stay connected with your GP or mental health professional right throughout pregnancy and the postpartum period. If you are in crisis, please visit your nearest Emergency Department. If you are in crisis and live in Australia, you can also call the PANDA Perinatal Mental Health helpline, here.

Recommended resources

The happiness trap: evolution of the human mind. Dr Russ Harris

Masterclass: unhooking yourself from unhelpful thoughts. Dr Russ Harris

Other recommended resources, acknowledgements, and selected references for the articles in the Caring for you section of The Possums Sleep Program are found here, including selected research evaluations of both Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Compassion-focused Therapy in the perinatal period.

Selected references

Barba-Muller E, Craddock S, Carmona S, Hoekzema E. Brain plasticity in pregnancy and the postpartum period: links to maternal caregiving and mental health. Archives of Women's Mental Health. 2019;22:298-299.

Hoekzema E, Barba-Muller E, Pozzobon C. Pregnancy leads to long-lasting changes in human brain structure. Nature Neuroscience. 2017;20:287-296.

Kleiman K, and Wenzel A. Dropping the baby and other scary thoughts: breaking the cycle of unwanted thoughts in motherhood. 2011; New York: Taylor & Francis.

Mason KA. Blenders, hammers, and knives: postpartum intrusive thoughts and unthinkable motherhood. Anthropology and Humanism. 2022;47(1):117-132.

Nepomuceno MI, Branquinho I, Canavarro MC, Fonseca A. Maternal depressive symptomatology and mother-infant bonding difficulties: the mediating role of brooding rumination. Journal of Infant and Reproductive Psychology. 2025 https://doi.org/10.1080/02646838.02642025.02520514.