Relax back without trying to look down once the baby is on, and begin to notice all the sensations of your baby snuggled up and drinking. This noticing of the present moment is often referred to as 'mindfulness', and is an important part of the gestalt approach to breastfeeding.

Actually, if you try to look down too much you might get neck and shoulder pain, or headaches.

It is usually not possible to make eye contact with your baby when breastfeeding. Whilst eye contact is important for baby's brain and for the development of your loving relationship, there is no reason to worry because you can't eye contact when your baby breastfeeds. There are many other occasions throughout the day in which to enjoy eye contact and interaction with your baby.

There is a great deal of enjoyment and physical closeness associated with easy, effective breastfeeding. Baby is connecting with you in other very sensory ways, as every cell of his little body relaxes into you, as she is washed in the joy of drinking from your body.

Breastfeeding is a time when your bodies are speaking to each other through caresses and snuggles. Speaking or murmuring to your baby also connects her to you during the breastfeed.

Relax back, and notice all the sensations.

Selected references

Douglas PS, Keogh R. Gestalt breastfeeding: helping mothers and infants optimise positional stability and intra-oral breast tissue volume for effective, pain-free milk transfer. Journal of Human Lactation. 2017;33(3):509–518.

Douglas PS, Geddes DB. Practice-based interpretation of ultrasound studies leads the way to less pharmaceutical and surgical intervention for breastfeeding babies and more effective clinical support. Midwifery. 2018;58:145–155.

Douglas PS, Perrella SL, Geddes DT. A brief gestalt intervention changes ultrasound measures of tongue movement during breastfeeding: case series. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. 2022;22(1):94. DOI: 10.1186/s12884-12021-04363-12887.