We need to take milk from our breasts to make milk in our breasts

When milk is removed from your breast, your milk glands continue to produce plenty of milk. If your breasts are tight and full with milk, the cells that make milk in your breasts, your lactocytes, are being given a message from the building pressure in your milk glands, which dials down your production of milk.

Breastfeeds which aren't frequent enough often result in

• Dialled up babies

• Low milk supply

• Inadequate baby weight gains.

Yet you might have been be advised to space out breastfeeds, particularly if your baby is crying and fussing a lot or wants unmanageably long or very frequent feeds. Unfortunately, spacing out breastfeeds in these situations isn't a helpful solution.

It is worth mentioning, though, that if you have nipple pain or damage, you may have no choice but to space out breastfeeds, because of the pain.

Why some health professionals feel concerned about frequent flexible breastfeeds

Some health professionals still think of 'demand breastfeeding' as every two or three or so hours, because they worry that anything else is too burdensome for women.

Busting myths about overfeeding

These folks might say things which aren't true or helpful, like

• He can't be hungry - he just fed!

• You're overfeeding her

• If you space out breastfeeds, he won't reflux as much

• If you space out breastfeeds, he won't get as much gut pain

• Space out breastfeeds to deal with her lactose overload

• Space out breastfeeds so that she feeds better when she is at the breast

• Space out breastfeeds so that she takes more milk and gains weight better.

However, offering each breast or pumping every three or so hours day and night is often not frequent enough to maintain supply or keep baby satiated with ample weight gain, which results in a baby who cries and fusses a lot because of hunger - and unnecessary worry for exhausted parents.

A three-hour pumping regime is commonly recommended as part of 'triple feeding' or 'topping up' with expressed breast milk or formula if you're facing breastfeeding problems. Although there can be a place for this, a three-hour triple feeding regime also spaces out offers of the breast, and can paradoxically make it hard to build your supply.

Very frequent, long feeds are often referred to as 'marathon feeds', a useful term which explains exactly how they feel! There are things to do if you find yourself marathon feeding, which make life and breastfeeding much more manageable, but deliberately spacing out feeds isn't one of them. Attempts to space out feeds often make things worse.

When I say this, your heart might drop. Maybe you're already exhausted. (This might be especially true if you have an older child or two or more.) Maybe you feel as if you're having trouble getting anything else done other than breastfeeding!

Life is easier not harder with frequent flexible breastfeeds

But paradoxically, life usually becomes easier, not harder, if you offer frequent flexible breastfeeds, once we've sorted out the underlying breastfeeding problems that are actually causing your baby to cry a lot, or the marathon feeding, or the need for triple feeding. We definitely don't want you sitting in the breastfeeding chair feeding all day (or night)! We want your life with your baby to be as easy and as enjoyable as possible.

Frequent flexible feeds helps a lot with this, despite what you might have heard. There are quite a few myths around about what frequent flexible breastfeeding looks like, which we need to debunk!

Recommended resources

Frequent flexible breastfeeds make life easier, not harder

Frequent flexible breastfeeds are different to breastfeeding on demand

The 12 steps of frequent flexible breastfeeding which make life easier, not harder