When you have baby or toddler sleep worries, or indeed any other kind of baby or toddler care worries, it helps a lot to get clear about what really matters to you in your life with your child. You might try out the following, either in your own mind or by talking with someone who cares about you.

• What brings you joy in your days with your baby? What warms your heart the most? (These are the things you value most!)

• What would remain in your days and nights if we could magically take away the times when you are feeling upset or distressed or beyond exhausted? What makes you most happy to spend time with your little one? (These are the things you value most!)

• Imagine you are at a family dinner celebrating your child’s 30th birthday. Believe me, this will happen quicker than you can possibly imagine! What would you like your grownup child, who might even have a baby of their own by this time, to say about the way you dealt with night waking when they were a baby? What would make you proud? (This also helps you clarify what you really value, what memories you want to make and what memories you want to have endure, over time.)

You can find out why clarifying your values when you have a baby or toddler is helpful here.

Acknowledgements

I'm grateful to perinatal psychologist Narelle Dickenson and her psychology students at Lotus Health and Psychology, Brisbane, for creating this video.

Recommended resources, acknowledgements, and selected references for the articles in the Caring for you section of The Possums Sleep Program are found here, including selected research evaluations of both Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Compassion-focused Therapy in the perinatal period.