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Caring for You


  • How to support a breastfeeding woman so that baby sleep isn't entirely up to her
  • Practice kind and empathic responses to your partner when your family is facing baby or toddler sleep problems
  • How a partner doing paid work from home can help meet the sensory motor needs of your baby or toddler
  • Supporting your partner when your baby is bottle-fed and baby sleep is a challenge
  • How to do evenings with a breastfed baby when the breastfeeding mother is not available?
  • How to do baby sleep when you've made the decision to wean from the breast?
  • If you're breastfeeding your baby and in a sleep emergency, consider asking another loving adult to do a shift at night

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  • Caring for You
  • S5: How your child's other parent or carer can help
  • CH 1: Baby

How to do evenings with a breastfed baby when the breastfeeding mother is not available?

Dr Pamela Douglas11th of Apr 20242nd of Jul 2024

father gently kisses baby on cheek

The younger the breastfed baby, the more challlenging an evening can be when the baby's mother isn't available for frequent and flexible breastfeeds. But families live complicated 21st century lives, managing competing needs including for paid shift work, and there may come a time when she's not available, and you're on your own with your baby (or, even more challenging, your baby and older children).

When a breastfeeding woman is not available in the evenings, you'll find bedtime goes best if you experiment between your baby-sleep superpowers of

  • Frequent and flexible milk, using paced bottle feeding, and

  • Rich and changing sensory motor nourishment.

Evenings can come unstuck though if you feel you have to put your baby down to bed at a particular time, because that's when she'll know for sure that her mother is gone and vigorously protest (usually with loud and distressing screams). Instead, things go best if you continue to offer rich and changing sensory motor nourishment until her sleep pressure is so very high that she drops off to sleep easily in your arms.

You can find ideas for making the evenings with your baby as easy and as enjoyable as possible using the baby-sleep superpower of rich sensory motor nourishment here. Of course, you may face constraints if you are also caring for an older child or children. Then it's about workability, not perfection!

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Next up in Baby

How to do baby sleep when you've made the decision to wean from the breast?

blue eyed breastfeeding baby caucasian girl

This article assumes that you've received accurate information as you make the decision to wean your baby from the breast. For example, excessive night waking doesn't result from frequent and flexible breastfeeds, but from disruption to your baby's body clock. If your baby is waking excessively, a body clock reset is required.

What is the kindest way to wean your breastfed baby?

Your baby is in the first months of life

Usually parents begin to use bottles of formula when they've made the decision that they need to wean a young baby from the…

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Possums acknowledges the traditional owners of the lands upon which The Possums Programs have been created, the Yuggera and Turrbal Peoples. We acknowledge that First Nations have breastfed, slept with, and lovingly raised their children on Australian lands for at least 65,000 years, to become the oldest continuous living culture on Earth. Possums stands with the Uluru Statement from the Heart.